obstetrician appt today

[willow2010]

I had my first appt with obstetrician at the royal today (ironic that as 1 ward closes doors, another clinic opens them...)

I have always had trouble free pregnancies and deliveries but since I am still under the mental health team and taking antidepressants, it is protocol to be managed by an obstetrician in our area.
So I met the dr and he told me that the sertraline I am on is one of the safest to be on while pregnant, the main risks being a minute increase in the risk of pulmonary hypertension and possible withdrawal symptoms in the newborn...but as I have already reduced my dose, its unlikely. I asked about stopping altogether and he smiled and said kindly 'I think, knowing your lifestyle is unpredictable because of Theo, and your stress levels go up and down, it is not worth risking a crash in your mood, so safer to stay on a maintenance dose at least.' but he did agree maybe i could stop in the final 6 weeks and be monitored with a view to starting again postnatally.

I feel really quite done in and it was such a short and meaningles appt. I really don't want to be part of the hospital monitoring system - I am doing ok now. Not just because of decannulation, not just because I'm pregnant. I feel ok about things and like I can justify and rationalise life and my feelings.

Instead, More intervention, more people telling me how to live. I have finally got rid of the Diana team (comm nurses) and the social services cleaners/home care.
I was told that I would have to stay in for a day or two for the newborn to be monitored - that means I cannot have a home birth. that makes me sad as I've planned them for all the kids and only Tabby was born at home and it was the most wonderful experience. I know its for the best.

On the upside, my bp is down significantly since my first midwife appt, so I am relieved. I think it was down to being under the weather and it being incredibly hot last time.

And on top of that I have had a really nice lunch with my nurse friend who told me that one of the reasons Theo's decannulation has gone so well is because of the 2 years of excellent and meticulous tracheostomy care that I (And Colin in his part) have given him, because overzealous suctioning, rough tube changes etc can cause granulation and airway damage..she said 'I bet nobody on the ward told you how valuable your efforts have been'. made me feel a little bit tearful - so nice to get real praise, especially when all the work really has been a labour of love.

think I just need an nice bath, early night and a decent new haircut to cheer me up!

[Sheran]

Hugs Willow - after Edward I never got the pregnancies I wanted either. With Sam I did put my foot down and refuse all the appointments because lets face it I was almost 40 and didn't like being treated like I was 17!

My midwife actually wrote to her boss about me and my 'refusal to have proper care for myself or my baby' which at the time miffed me off no end. I knew that my baby would be fine and much better than a completely stressed Mummy attending all sorts of appointments and speaking to people she didn't want to speak too! Also I figured what was the point of several trips backwards and forwards to Southampton and Exeter for echoes when there was nothing they could do anyway until she was born!

What the Obs doctor probably didn't tell you is that it is routine once you have had three babies for you to be put under their care in some areas anyway. And certainly in our local area which encourages home births - they don't like anyone staying home past number 3 because the risks of birth to the mother rise substantially at that time. Certain things like putting a canula into your arm in case you haemorrage are routine at number 4!

By the time I got to number 5 you can ask Kerry my OBGYN scared me so much I was petrified to give birth to her and was so frightened that I was going to die from her labour I actually left notes left right and centre for the boys (and for her) so that if anything happened to me I could speak to them beyond the grave on significant days of their lives!

As it was I was supposed to be having all sorts of interventions during labour but because of poor midwifery care (the fact that the student who was delivering me refused to believe I was in labour until the very end) - I didn't have anything for the last ten minutes (including any pain relief as the mobile gas in air was empty) and you know what despite all their scare mongering I was fine.

With any luck you will go into labour in the middle of the night with number 4 and end up having it at home anyway!

Love Sheran xx

[Victoria]

I think that sounds like a really positive appointment and lets face it, its only for the next few months...best to be monitored I think (I was up at the hospital every other day for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy)

As for the home birth...have to say I just don't get it...I couldn't bear the thought, but obviously each to their own, and I'm sorry it's not to be this time.

enjoy your bath!

Victoria x

[Thomas's Mummy]

I totally understand where you are coming from re hosp appts i have been sick to death of them with this pregnancy, if it wasn't one thing it was another, i am on epilepsy meds and the epilepsy nurses ended up giving me a appt with the neurologist who suggested i reduce my pills but i was annoyed as why ask me at 20wks when i was halfway through my pregnancy, they should of asked me at the beginning ~ as far as i was aware it was too late, i had no problems before, yes there is a chance of defects with baby but thomas is ok and its something that i will just have to wait and find out, the heart scans were a relief everytime but another hosp trip. After this baby is born i never want to see inside a bloody hospital again ! Growth scans, heart scan, pill updates ahhh its enough to drive you crackers, having said all that i have had more care off them than my midwife, she is an absolute waste of time in my opinion.

Soz for the rant !
I hope you get the birth you want as it is so dis hearting when interventions beyond your control are made, it makes you feel cheated.

Nikki x

[willow2010]

Originally Posted by Victoria

I think that sounds like a really positive appointment and lets face it, its only for the next few months...best to be monitored I think (I was up at the hospital every other day for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy)

As for the home birth...have to say I just don't get it...I couldn't bear the thought, but obviously each to their own, and I'm sorry it's not to be this time.

enjoy your bath!

Victoria x

it was a positive appt, think it just tired me out after the drama of last few days. home birth was a much more natural experience and i didnt need any pain relief because i was so relaxed, but having done entire labour in hosp for first baby and being in agony and stressed out and then having to rush into hosp for theo and give birth in a grotty waiting room because they thought i had ages to go and I HAD TOLD THEM I was ready to push...I'd much rather be in my own bedroom with my own comforts..

but after what Sheran has just said about 4th babies being routinely managed by more than midwife...I might not have got home birth anyway. bummer but not the end of the world.

[ethans mummy]

WOW firstly - well done on the trachy stuff, obviously your friend is fab..

and tbh ive never been one to do as im told. with anything but i was on citalopram when i got preg with ethan and had to do cold turkey - its the worst thing ive ever done xxxx so take it easy on yourself xxxx

[flower]

Willow...

My first daughter was a normal healthy pregnancy and a great home birth where my own midwife stayed the whole 25 hours of the labour!

My second daughter I was denied a homebirth which I was devestated about, I won my fight in the end after hours of research and putting my case to a top consultant.

Although in the end my fight was a pointless task as my labour consisted of 10 contractions and my daughter was born! So I got my homebirth but not a relaxed one as I had paramedics and eventually one midwife.

I hope you get the delievry you wish for and I wish you well.

flower x